monday night ella got sick. the fever came and didn't leave for over 24 hours. so tuesday was a long day of taking care of her while she laid on the couch watching endless hours of noggin in between napping. she threw up twice...which tends to happen with her every time she has a high fever. so the day was not so pleasant. yesterday was another day at home. she was still QUITE groggy and tired as she was regaining energy that was zapped from her the day before. i've discovered the cues to know when she is sick. she is horribly whiny! i was finding myself becoming the same way as i was dealing with it.
needless to say, after two days feeling trapped at home, i was ready to get out of the house. i don't quite understand my need to escape from a nice, safe place. i think i just get bored.
this morning was ella's open house at her preschool. i was quite pleased that the grogginess had passed and she was actually not scared to go meet her new teacher. we had a nice time seeing her new classroom. they had a petting zoo outside and the kids really enjoyed it.
so i thought i would extend our little outing and so we headed to the mall. all was going well. we went to a couple stores and rode the merry-go-round. then we got chick-fil-a for lunch. after i got buddy in the high chair and unloaded all the bags and started cutting up chicken nuggets, ella says "mommy, i have to go potty."
my response was nothing but mean. i asked her if she could hold it. i gave her the big sigh (ugh) response. i pretty much scolded her for not telling me before we sat down and spread out all the food, etc. i then made sure she knew that it was going to be a pain to pack up all the food, put buddy back in the stroller and walk all the way to the bathroom.
the sweet lady sitting behind me (not sure if she heard my conversation with ella or not) offered to watch our food for us. oh, thank you!
so hindsite...i'm embarrassed. i behaved ridiculously and am so sorry that i placed that guilt on ella. i viewed her natural need to go pee as an inconvience to me. i later told her that i was proud of her for telling me she needed to go to the bathroom. and also thought of the worse scenario of her having an accident in the middle of the food court.
funny how irritated i get over her whininess....when i do the exact same thing. sometimes i wish i could rewind life and try again with a different response. but this is how we learn. this is how we learn to say i'm sorry and seek forgiveness. i can only hope and pray that my sweet child will not be scarred by these crazy outbursts from her irritated mother!
so, that was my lesson for today.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
our favorite number these days
is anyone else excited that 24 won an emmy sunday night for best drama? and that keifer sutherland won for best actor? i was thrilled. 24 is our favorite show. we started watching 2 seasons ago after several friends convinced us that it was one of the best shows on tv. we immediately got hooked. its not hard people. if you watch one episode, you won't want to miss ANY of the following. when i saw keifer win on sunday, its hard not to imagine him as jack bauer. i kept thinking he was going to pull out his gun and start running across the stage. and ok, i'm an idiot, i totally didn't realize that donald sutherland was his father. um, it makes sense...they look exactly alike and well, they have the same last name. like i said, i'm an idiot. i had never put 2 and 2 together!a few weeks ago, r and i started watching season 1. we borrowed a friends DVD (there is a line of people behind us waiting to borrow this cherished DVD btw). every night that we watch an episode, i practically beg r to watch another one with me. for those of you who watch this show, you know that the last 5 minutes of each episode just leaves you hanging and longing for more! it has been fun to see the beginning and the introduction of jack bauer kicking some major booty.
so if there is one show you must see, it's 24. it's intense, creative, exciting, and it will literally make your stomach hurt at times because of the intensity of each episode. there is obviously a reason why it won the emmy for best drama! it gets our vote for sure.
and did i mention that jack bauer kicks major booty?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
happy birthday to ella
To my dear sweet daughter,Ella Charlotte, thank you for coming into our lives 4 years ago today. thank you for giving us a huge shock when we found out you were a girl! thank you for bringing so much joy into my life. thank you for giving me the gift of motherhood. thank you for bringing a smile to my face every day. thank you for making me giggle at your silliness. thank you for giving me sweet kisses when you come into my room in the morning. thank you for telling me that you love me. thank you for your silly knock knock jokes. thank you for drawing pretty pictures for me that impress me. thank you for liking my spaghetti. thank you for letting me put bows in your hair and for wanting to wear skirts every day. thank you for making me play duck duck goose with you. thank you for being such a great big sister to evan. thank you for your sweet prayers at night. thank you for all the curious questions that you ask over and over again, thank you for asking me to play games with you. thank you for wanting to have picnic lunches in the backyard. thank you for wanting to sing songs with me. thank you for wanting me to read you books. thank you for being so LOVABLE!
thank you also for helping me see that children are truly a blessing. thank you for helping me to know just how wonderful and difficult parenthood can be. thank you for humbling me. thank you for helping me to see just how selfish i really am. thank you for pushing me towards my Father when i don't know how to parent you. thank you for testing my patience. thank you for allowing me to fail you and thank you for forgiving me when i do.
these past four years with you have been a gift. you are a gift. you are special. and mommy and daddy love you beyond words. we love everything about you! happy 4th birthday, my sweet girl!
i love you,
mommy
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
the cleaning King
as i have pondered my whole cleaning strike thing, i keep thinking of how it relates to my spiritual life. just as i look around and see a dirty, cluttered home and it puts me in a funk, i also react that way to my heart when it's filled with something unclean. when my heart is holding onto sin and when i'm not believing the truth of the gospel, i get into a spiritual funk. every day there are certain things that i need to ask forgiveness for...but i just want to hold on to it. i just want to be angry a little longer, or i just want to justify my wrong behavior and blame it on someone else. and when i cling to it, it builds upon itself and then becomes harder to confess it. the dirty-ness (i think i just made up that word) simply makes me feel all icky inside.
the simple truth of the gospel tells me, though, that all i need to do is tell Him my sin, be broken over it, be forgiven, and move on. all that dirt and grime and clutter that i let build up inside easily gets cleaned up by my faithful, loving, forgiving Father only because of Christ. he comes in and throws away all the clutter, he wipes off the dirt, he mops up the grime and spills and dirty gunky stuff (great description, huh?), he dusts off the hard to reach places that i don't even see, he opens up the blinds and lets the beautiful light shine inside, and even sprays my heart with a fresh aroma that only he can create. he is the ULTIMATE heart-cleaner and no one can clean quite like he can! he makes our hearts spotless and he doesn't even remember what it looked like before. it's just a beautiful picture to me of God's grace in my life.
when i look around my house when it's dirty, i get overwhelmed at all the work that needs to get done to make it clean. and it often disgusts me to think that it will just get dirty all over again after all the hard work. this is how i feel all too often about my heart. i see the sin, i don't like it, i don't want to deal with it, and i think it will be too much work to try and do things better.... but the difference with this analogy is that yes, i do have to physically work to get my house clean...but there is nothing that i can do to clean my own heart. the only work involved in that is actually bending down to him and laying my sin at his feet. he does the rest. and he doesn't sit around and dwell on the fact that my heart is rotten and analyze just how filthy the walls of my heart are (like i do)....no....he immediately embraces me and makes me pure again. the beauty of sanctification.
how much more joy could i experience in my life if i only would remember these truths?
Psalm 51:10 (ESV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
the simple truth of the gospel tells me, though, that all i need to do is tell Him my sin, be broken over it, be forgiven, and move on. all that dirt and grime and clutter that i let build up inside easily gets cleaned up by my faithful, loving, forgiving Father only because of Christ. he comes in and throws away all the clutter, he wipes off the dirt, he mops up the grime and spills and dirty gunky stuff (great description, huh?), he dusts off the hard to reach places that i don't even see, he opens up the blinds and lets the beautiful light shine inside, and even sprays my heart with a fresh aroma that only he can create. he is the ULTIMATE heart-cleaner and no one can clean quite like he can! he makes our hearts spotless and he doesn't even remember what it looked like before. it's just a beautiful picture to me of God's grace in my life.
when i look around my house when it's dirty, i get overwhelmed at all the work that needs to get done to make it clean. and it often disgusts me to think that it will just get dirty all over again after all the hard work. this is how i feel all too often about my heart. i see the sin, i don't like it, i don't want to deal with it, and i think it will be too much work to try and do things better.... but the difference with this analogy is that yes, i do have to physically work to get my house clean...but there is nothing that i can do to clean my own heart. the only work involved in that is actually bending down to him and laying my sin at his feet. he does the rest. and he doesn't sit around and dwell on the fact that my heart is rotten and analyze just how filthy the walls of my heart are (like i do)....no....he immediately embraces me and makes me pure again. the beauty of sanctification.
how much more joy could i experience in my life if i only would remember these truths?
Psalm 51:10 (ESV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
mom on strike
over the past few days, i feel like i've been in a funk. don't really know the cause of it...well, i take that back, i probably do...but sometimes i just don't understand exactly why i let that cause get to me. let me explain.
last night i almost wrote a post about what i was feeling. i decided to wait and i'm glad that i did. over the past 5 days my son has had a fever so i've basically been stuck at home with him. you would think that i would get a lot done in the house since i've had all kinds of time here. but the motivation has been lacking. i would look around and see all the toys spread out ALL OVER the house, i would see dirty dishes piling up knowing there were clean ones in the dishwasher that needed to be emptied, the mail was piling up on my kitchen table and counters, my floor desperately needed vaccuming, the kitchen floor had crumbs of who knows what that needed to be swept, you could not walk through the kids rooms without stepping on something, the bathrooms had a layer of grime (ick), clean clothes that needed to be put away, not to mention the dirty clothes that were spread out all over my bedroom that need to be washed. ok, i think you get my point and i'm sure you have a visual now. i am not a good housekeeper. and when it gets this bad...it puts me in a funk. i would look around and attempt to attack something, but it would just get dirty again, cluttered again, messy again. i clean up the kitchen just to dirty it up hours later, i straighten up the living room just to see it clutter up with toys hours later, i do the laundry just to do it a couple days later. these things become so monotonous to me and it drives me crazy sometimes. they are tasks that never seem to get finished....you can never fully scratch them off of the list because as soon as you do, you have to work on the same task all over again!
every few months or so i get into this funk. i might as well have been walking around my driveway in a circle holding a big sign that says "mom on strike". for 5 days now i have basically just been refusing to get anything done. call it overwhelmed, call it low energy, call it depression, call it lack of motivation, call it...quits! whoever said that moms should get paid over $100,000 for all the work they do...got it about right. i mean, maybe if money were involved i would be more motivated? i don't know. maybe more recognition and gratefulness from others would help (don't get me wrong-my family is very appreciative of what i do).
but this is why i'm glad that i waited until today to write this. this morning i had to go to church to keep the nursery. r stayed home with the kids since evan woke up with a fever again. i came home to a nice surprise. the living room had been cleaned up and the kids rooms had been cleaned up. daddy and the kids had been at work while i was gone. when ella was showing me the work she had done, with tears in my eyes...i had to say "thank you God." he used my family to bring me the joy that i needed....i know acts of service is one of my (many!) love languages. and believe me, i felt loved and appreciated.
so i think it has given me that boost that i have needed to help me move on (there's LOTS more cleaning to be done!). even though the things i do at home can be so mundane...i wouldn't trade it for the world. i am so thankful that i can be at home with my children. and as far as the housework....well its certainly not my strength and probably never will be. i'm sure these funk-filled moments will continue to come and go....especially knowing that the housework will NEVER go away. i usually just need that little whisper from my Father saying "you are LOVED, you are BLESSED....be JOYFUL."
so i guess i can say that my strike is officially over. back to work tomorrow. i think i'll tackle the floors and the bathrooms. and later this week my goal is to clean out TOYS...get rid of some and organize the others. usually once i finally get going, there's no stopping me!
Friday, August 18, 2006
America, America!
i found this map from every day mommy and i thought it was a fun idea! it said i have visited 29 states (in red). i'm over halfway done seeing the US! i'm looking forward to seeing the rest of it with my family. when the kids get older, we would love to rent an RV and go out west...see Yosemite, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon. and i would also love to do the same thing in New England! there are so many beautiful places to see in our country. i do feel priveleged that i've already seen so much at my age.so where have you been? click here to make your own map.
friday's fours
my friend robyn did this last week so i thought i would do it today.
Four jobs I have had in my life
*winn dixie cheese shop girl (was on a summer beach project in Panama City)
*First Market Bank (located in a walmart supercenter... did.not.like.it.)
*Communications Department of a large church
* graphic designer for a small private company
Four movies I would watch over and over:
*Grease
*Dirty Dancing
*Sound of Music
*Sense & Sensibility
this list could go on and on!
Four places I have lived:
*Snellville, GA (grew up there)
*Rome, GA (went to college there...Berry College)
*Chicago, IL (husband went to Northwestern for a certification program)
*Tucker, GA (lived there first 3 years of marriage)
Four TV shows I love to watch:
*24
*LOST
*Grey's Anatomy
*What Not to Wear
and lots of reality shows!
Four places I have been on vacation
*Seagrove, Florida
*Cancun, Mexico
*trip across the country to California when i was 13
*NYC
Websites I visit daily
*my blog (to check my comments!)
*lots of other blogs
*Google (does this count?)
*my surfing has decreased since blogging!
Four of my favorite foods:
*ice cream (usually mint chocolate chip)
* italian
*mexican
*a good burger
Four places I would like to be right now
*anywhere out of the house (evan has been sick for 3 days now)
*on the beach in Fiji
*in California visiting my friends
*shopping with whoever is willing to pay
Four jobs I have had in my life
*winn dixie cheese shop girl (was on a summer beach project in Panama City)
*First Market Bank (located in a walmart supercenter... did.not.like.it.)
*Communications Department of a large church
* graphic designer for a small private company
Four movies I would watch over and over:
*Grease
*Dirty Dancing
*Sound of Music
*Sense & Sensibility
this list could go on and on!
Four places I have lived:
*Snellville, GA (grew up there)
*Rome, GA (went to college there...Berry College)
*Chicago, IL (husband went to Northwestern for a certification program)
*Tucker, GA (lived there first 3 years of marriage)
Four TV shows I love to watch:
*24
*LOST
*Grey's Anatomy
*What Not to Wear
and lots of reality shows!
Four places I have been on vacation
*Seagrove, Florida
*Cancun, Mexico
*trip across the country to California when i was 13
*NYC
Websites I visit daily
*my blog (to check my comments!)
*lots of other blogs
*Google (does this count?)
*my surfing has decreased since blogging!
Four of my favorite foods:
*ice cream (usually mint chocolate chip)
* italian
*mexican
*a good burger
Four places I would like to be right now
*anywhere out of the house (evan has been sick for 3 days now)
*on the beach in Fiji
*in California visiting my friends
*shopping with whoever is willing to pay
Thursday, August 17, 2006
deal or no deal?
tonight officially began my consignment sale hunting. if you live in the atlanta area...you know just how many of these sales happen around here. i have not heard of another city that has as many as we do...it really seems to have exploded over the past few years.
so i went to my first one tonight. it was in a neighborhood close by and they had it in the basement. i get SOOO ridiculously excited going to these sales. i LO-O-OVE a good deal!! and when i can find a pair of kids jeans for $3 or a shirt for $1.50 or a cute dress for $4....oh mama...do i feel so happy all over!!
i didn't have much luck tonight though. i got a few things for both kids, including a pair of shoes for each that are just too cute and had hardly been worn. and if they are $2, i really don't care how much they've been worn. i didn't want to go overboard tonight...you know, buy too much and then not have enough money to go to all the other 500 sales that are waiting for me! plus, i like to wait for really good clothing. i'll admit, i really like the name brand stuff...gymboree, gap, etc. and when you can find this stuff for such a great price...it's worth going to different sales to find them! (oh and did i mention that it was about 150 degrees in the basement with a gob of people who were cramped like sardines in between racks and racks of clothes, toys, and baby items?....oh but its still so worth it!)
like i said...i just get giddy about all the deals. i usually come home and immediately show r each thing and how much i paid for it. although he just doesn't get as excited as i do, he is still proud of my determination to find a good deal and proud of all the money i'm saving!
so if you live in atlanta and don't know about all these sales (how could you not!?), go to the bargain watcher and go shopping ya'll!
note: i just checked thebargainwatcher.com again and there are lots of other states listed! so go check it out!
so i went to my first one tonight. it was in a neighborhood close by and they had it in the basement. i get SOOO ridiculously excited going to these sales. i LO-O-OVE a good deal!! and when i can find a pair of kids jeans for $3 or a shirt for $1.50 or a cute dress for $4....oh mama...do i feel so happy all over!!
i didn't have much luck tonight though. i got a few things for both kids, including a pair of shoes for each that are just too cute and had hardly been worn. and if they are $2, i really don't care how much they've been worn. i didn't want to go overboard tonight...you know, buy too much and then not have enough money to go to all the other 500 sales that are waiting for me! plus, i like to wait for really good clothing. i'll admit, i really like the name brand stuff...gymboree, gap, etc. and when you can find this stuff for such a great price...it's worth going to different sales to find them! (oh and did i mention that it was about 150 degrees in the basement with a gob of people who were cramped like sardines in between racks and racks of clothes, toys, and baby items?....oh but its still so worth it!)
like i said...i just get giddy about all the deals. i usually come home and immediately show r each thing and how much i paid for it. although he just doesn't get as excited as i do, he is still proud of my determination to find a good deal and proud of all the money i'm saving!
so if you live in atlanta and don't know about all these sales (how could you not!?), go to the bargain watcher and go shopping ya'll!
note: i just checked thebargainwatcher.com again and there are lots of other states listed! so go check it out!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
in need of a king.
king-sized bed, that is. for a while now (especially since we've had children), we've been really wanting to upgrade to a bigger bed. and last night gave us a definite reason for not only wanting it, but needing it. ella woke up around 3 am from a nightmare or something. we tried to get her to go back to sleep in her room. but soon after, she came walking in our room and wanted to crawl in bed with us. so she slides herself in between us all....me, rusty, and my 2 body pillows! ok, i'm sure you are laughing...especially certain people! but when i was pregnant with ella, rusty bought each of us a body pillow...one for my pregnant self and he wanted one too. however, they both became mine very early on! one to put under my belly and between my legs and the other one to prop behind my back. well being the person who becomes addicted easily (blogging for example! or my tivo, my need for sound when i sleep, etc), i have not been able to detach myself from these pillows. when we go on trips, i have to take at least one with me. maybe i should try weaning myself?!
so needless to say, it gets a little tight in our queen size bed. last night ella was snuggled as close as possible to me (which i don't mind, for maybe the first 5 minutes!). i was literally at the EDGE of the bed. one more centimeter of movement and i would've rolled on over onto the floor. over the course of the next couple hours, she was flinging arms over my head and her leg was wrapped over my whole body.
and i'm not quite the snuggler when it comes time to sleep. one reason for that is because i get so stinkin hot! rusty calls me his little heater. so by 5 am, i had had enough. i whispered over to rusty, "someone's gotta go sleep upstairs...either you or me. who's it gonna be?" i think he was still asleep because i didn't really get a coherent response. so i grabbed my body pillow and hiked upstairs to our bonus room where we have an extra bed.
it would've been so nice to have a king last nite...where we all would have room to spread out and be able to get good sleep! and there are also those fun saturday mornings when the kids jump in bed with us and we all play and snuggle for a while....but usually there are body parts that are getting punctured or many close calls with evan falling off the bed. some day....some day, we will be able to save the money and upgrade. but probably not until the kids are grown and out of the house!
until then, i will just have to be grateful for what i have and maybe....just maybe get rid of those body pillows that take up way too much room. oh the thought of it makes me so sad. i'm so attached.
Monday, August 14, 2006
there's a mouse in the house
well not MY house...in the cabin we were staying in this past weekend.
a couple months ago, rusty's family wanted to gather somewhere in tennessee to celebrate his grandma's 90th birthday. we were going to celebrate by bringing 4 of her grandson's together again as a big surprise. every single place that i looked into was booked. our last option was a place that we had stayed at 3 years ago...and i certainly didn't have fond memories of the place. but, i thought, it's about being with family afterall....i can live with it for 2 nights.
these cabins were built over 50 years ago. the decor was multicolored carpet, dark brown and shag....70's printed wallpaper with bright orange, green and yellow flowers. the kitchen was purple. everything was...well...old.
now, i'm a city girl, but i don't mind camping every now and then and when camping, i understand that there will be bugs, spiders, critters all around me....because they live outdoors afterall. but when those critters come inside, i get a little creeped out. (ok, maybe more than a little). so when i'm staying inside a cabin, i'm hoping that i won't see those critters, and if i do, then i make sure they know they are NOT welcome.
the first night we were there, we had put evan to bed in his pack-n-play and waiting on him to fall asleep before we layed ella down in the same room (the 4 of us were having to share a room). we shared a cabin with r's brother and his new wife. we were all sitting around chatting when r's brother says calmly, "um...we have a mouse." i immediately curl up in the fetal position on the couch! he watches it as it moves down the hallway...into MY bedroom. the bedroom where my baby boy is sleeping. in that first minute, i had a million thoughts run through my head....there is NO WAY i'm sleeping in that room, where is the nearest hotel, oh somebody please get my bags OFF THE FLOOR, my poor baby boy is going to be attacked by a mouse, when there's one mouse - there's more!
we came up with a plan. i convinced rusty to go in there and at least move the bags off of the floor. we would get evan up and i would hold him while the boys (by this time, r's other brother and nephew were there) rampage through the bedroom to try and find the critter. while r was moving the bags, he saw it move out from under my bed and then it disappeared. so when all the boys got in there with their choice of weapon (shoes, books, etc), they moved all the furniture and didn't find him. they did, however, find a hole between the carpet and the baseboard where they figured he ran off into when r was in the room earlier.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! i don't like mice. can you tell?
so they tried to reassure me that this little sucker was NOT coming back through that hole. they stuffed it with a washcloth and checked to see if there were more holes anywhere else. i was not convinced. my sister-in-law and i were "this close" (can you picture my fingers?) to saying "see ya at the hotel." i decided to toughen up and trust that they did all that they could. i knew i was in for a long night of light sleep!
and light sleep it was...ella woke up on and off through the night. the LOUD window A/C unit would scare her everytime it cycled on and off and she was concerned about the mouse as well. at one point, rusty and i both sat up because we kept hearing a strange noise. we were thinking it was ella again. rusty got up and checked on her in the other bed while i sat up staring at that washcloth stuffed hole right at the foot of my bed.
and.........then.........IT MOVED. the washcloth was MOVING. "AAAHHH!" i gasped. rusty jumped on top of ella's bed and was standing there saying "what!!?? what happened? what did you see?!" i couldn't speak well...i was so freaked out. i finally let him know that i saw it move and that the mouse was trying to get out. so my hero husband got down and stuffed some more washcloths in the hole and covered it with MY running shoes (i think i need some new ones now. hee). during all this, ella got out of her bed and was laying with me while her daddy was building a bigger barrier. while laying there, she was still in a semi-coma of sleep, she said "mommy, there's a mouse in the house." it was so cute. some comic relief that i needed.
rusty ended up sleeping with ella after the excitement so i just layed there without my husband to protect me, thinking MORE thoughts about how this mouse was going to find its way in my room and in my bed so that he could attack my feet or run across my face while i was asleep. i wondered if i was EVER going to be able to fall asleep. as i layed there thinking about the whole scenario again, i was chuckling to myself as i thought about my "manly" husband jumping up on ella's bed and standing there right after my big gasp! :)
we did not see the mouse again....but boy did i check that hole every time i walked in my room. and the second night we saw all kinds of other critters....spiders, giant bees and other flying insects who were taking over the den area.
so after 2 nights of fear....it's good to be home. despite the scary critters, it was a nice time with family. r's grandma was just so thrilled and thankful for all of us being together. so i realized a few things this past weekend. i will NEVER be on "Fear Factor" (i pretty much learned that before this weekend though), i really REALLY hate mice, and i really REALLY like NICE hotels.
a couple months ago, rusty's family wanted to gather somewhere in tennessee to celebrate his grandma's 90th birthday. we were going to celebrate by bringing 4 of her grandson's together again as a big surprise. every single place that i looked into was booked. our last option was a place that we had stayed at 3 years ago...and i certainly didn't have fond memories of the place. but, i thought, it's about being with family afterall....i can live with it for 2 nights.
these cabins were built over 50 years ago. the decor was multicolored carpet, dark brown and shag....70's printed wallpaper with bright orange, green and yellow flowers. the kitchen was purple. everything was...well...old.
now, i'm a city girl, but i don't mind camping every now and then and when camping, i understand that there will be bugs, spiders, critters all around me....because they live outdoors afterall. but when those critters come inside, i get a little creeped out. (ok, maybe more than a little). so when i'm staying inside a cabin, i'm hoping that i won't see those critters, and if i do, then i make sure they know they are NOT welcome.
the first night we were there, we had put evan to bed in his pack-n-play and waiting on him to fall asleep before we layed ella down in the same room (the 4 of us were having to share a room). we shared a cabin with r's brother and his new wife. we were all sitting around chatting when r's brother says calmly, "um...we have a mouse." i immediately curl up in the fetal position on the couch! he watches it as it moves down the hallway...into MY bedroom. the bedroom where my baby boy is sleeping. in that first minute, i had a million thoughts run through my head....there is NO WAY i'm sleeping in that room, where is the nearest hotel, oh somebody please get my bags OFF THE FLOOR, my poor baby boy is going to be attacked by a mouse, when there's one mouse - there's more!
we came up with a plan. i convinced rusty to go in there and at least move the bags off of the floor. we would get evan up and i would hold him while the boys (by this time, r's other brother and nephew were there) rampage through the bedroom to try and find the critter. while r was moving the bags, he saw it move out from under my bed and then it disappeared. so when all the boys got in there with their choice of weapon (shoes, books, etc), they moved all the furniture and didn't find him. they did, however, find a hole between the carpet and the baseboard where they figured he ran off into when r was in the room earlier.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! i don't like mice. can you tell?
so they tried to reassure me that this little sucker was NOT coming back through that hole. they stuffed it with a washcloth and checked to see if there were more holes anywhere else. i was not convinced. my sister-in-law and i were "this close" (can you picture my fingers?) to saying "see ya at the hotel." i decided to toughen up and trust that they did all that they could. i knew i was in for a long night of light sleep!
and light sleep it was...ella woke up on and off through the night. the LOUD window A/C unit would scare her everytime it cycled on and off and she was concerned about the mouse as well. at one point, rusty and i both sat up because we kept hearing a strange noise. we were thinking it was ella again. rusty got up and checked on her in the other bed while i sat up staring at that washcloth stuffed hole right at the foot of my bed.
and.........then.........IT MOVED. the washcloth was MOVING. "AAAHHH!" i gasped. rusty jumped on top of ella's bed and was standing there saying "what!!?? what happened? what did you see?!" i couldn't speak well...i was so freaked out. i finally let him know that i saw it move and that the mouse was trying to get out. so my hero husband got down and stuffed some more washcloths in the hole and covered it with MY running shoes (i think i need some new ones now. hee). during all this, ella got out of her bed and was laying with me while her daddy was building a bigger barrier. while laying there, she was still in a semi-coma of sleep, she said "mommy, there's a mouse in the house." it was so cute. some comic relief that i needed.
rusty ended up sleeping with ella after the excitement so i just layed there without my husband to protect me, thinking MORE thoughts about how this mouse was going to find its way in my room and in my bed so that he could attack my feet or run across my face while i was asleep. i wondered if i was EVER going to be able to fall asleep. as i layed there thinking about the whole scenario again, i was chuckling to myself as i thought about my "manly" husband jumping up on ella's bed and standing there right after my big gasp! :)
we did not see the mouse again....but boy did i check that hole every time i walked in my room. and the second night we saw all kinds of other critters....spiders, giant bees and other flying insects who were taking over the den area.
so after 2 nights of fear....it's good to be home. despite the scary critters, it was a nice time with family. r's grandma was just so thrilled and thankful for all of us being together. so i realized a few things this past weekend. i will NEVER be on "Fear Factor" (i pretty much learned that before this weekend though), i really REALLY hate mice, and i really REALLY like NICE hotels.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
just wondering if this bothers you...?
i don't think of myself as an anal person. there are, of course, certain things that i'm anal about like how my dishwasher is loaded. i have to have my plates in the front right section and the kid's plates have to go on the top shelf back corner. i am also anal about what my kids wear. sometimes if hubby dresses them, i try to (sweetly...i know he'll laugh at that) suggest something else or tell him what i had planned for them to wear!
but one thing i'm NOT anal about is my writing. ok, maybe i should be, but it just doesn't really drive me crazy if i have a run-on sentence or if i have ended my sentence with the wrong type of word or if i put a comma in the wrong place or if i use those little dot dot dots too often in a paragraph. and i hardly ever use spellcheck (some of you are gasping, i know!). english was never my favorite subject in school. in fact, it may have been my least favorite. i was always much better at math and art (quite the combination, huh!?).
when i started becoming an emailer over the past years, i guess it's become a habit to type with all lowercase letters. using the caps just seems like too much work. ha! ok, so maybe you can call it laziness! sometimes i just think it's cool. ha, again! i've been thinking about this today and noticed that i only know 2 others (my cool friends, i suppose) who don't use caps on their blogs either....my friends kate and eric. for you anal, possibly OCD, people out there, does this drive you crazy? Because I can type with caps if you REALLY want me to...see? But it actually drives ME crazy to do it! I'm always having to delete the second letter after my capital because it always ends up capitalized too and it's just plain annoying. so indulge me, bear with me, please just try and tolerate my laziness if you are one of those people that it bothers! :) and i will resort to using my caps on important emails and official documents! but this is my blog, afterall, and i will write how i'm capable and type how my lazy fingers want to type. so will any of you admit to me that it bothers you? please comment...because i'm SOO curious!!
but one thing i'm NOT anal about is my writing. ok, maybe i should be, but it just doesn't really drive me crazy if i have a run-on sentence or if i have ended my sentence with the wrong type of word or if i put a comma in the wrong place or if i use those little dot dot dots too often in a paragraph. and i hardly ever use spellcheck (some of you are gasping, i know!). english was never my favorite subject in school. in fact, it may have been my least favorite. i was always much better at math and art (quite the combination, huh!?).
when i started becoming an emailer over the past years, i guess it's become a habit to type with all lowercase letters. using the caps just seems like too much work. ha! ok, so maybe you can call it laziness! sometimes i just think it's cool. ha, again! i've been thinking about this today and noticed that i only know 2 others (my cool friends, i suppose) who don't use caps on their blogs either....my friends kate and eric. for you anal, possibly OCD, people out there, does this drive you crazy? Because I can type with caps if you REALLY want me to...see? But it actually drives ME crazy to do it! I'm always having to delete the second letter after my capital because it always ends up capitalized too and it's just plain annoying. so indulge me, bear with me, please just try and tolerate my laziness if you are one of those people that it bothers! :) and i will resort to using my caps on important emails and official documents! but this is my blog, afterall, and i will write how i'm capable and type how my lazy fingers want to type. so will any of you admit to me that it bothers you? please comment...because i'm SOO curious!!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
big poncha's big sister
thanks to all of you who left a comment on my last post. your ideas were helpful and i appreciate the encouraging words. i'm sure there are lots of children who suffer through fears like this. we keep trying new things with her and i'm certain that eventually she will get through this phase.
so on that note, since i've discussed one of her weaknesses, i want to describe her strengths and why we love this little girl named ella! so here goes the bragging...
she has recently nicknamed her little brother "big poncha" (hence the title above) and this shows how her little creative mind works. she likes to make up words. and when evan was a baby, ella always called him "oven", even though she could say his name correctly. everyone around us caught on and called him that too! she ADORES her little brother and for the most part, she plays well with him. just about every day she tells me how cute she thinks he is....especially when he does funny things or he's just being sweet to her. she is very affectionate with me, her daddy, evan, her friends and our family. she loves giving hugs and kisses. she has such a tender heart.
she is quite shy with those she doesn't know, but once she is your friend...she is attached! she is always wanting to be on the go (probably gets this from me!). every night at bedtime she asks me or her daddy, "where are we going tomorrow?". and every morning when she wakes up, "what are we going to do today?" and if i tell her that we have no plans, she is more than willing to make plans for me!!
she is quite the little artist and i have been so proud to see her latest drawings. she LOVES to color any chance she gets and she is enjoying writing her letters as well. she was the only one in her 3 yr. old preschool class who could write their name!
if she's not coloring, then she's probably reading books. the girl loves her books and we are thrilled about that! she loves to learn about new things and is soooo curious about everything. questions are pouring out of her mouth lately as she wants to know all there is to know about anything and everything!
she also loves to sing. she has all the songs memorized on the Steve Green's "Hide 'Em in Your Heart" cd's. i love hearing her sweet little voice. and she even knows words to some our favorite songs...(is it bad if she knows the lyrics to some of kelly clarkson's songs!?).
we think she will be a great athlete too....she loves to run and has always been very coordinated. she loves riding her scooter and is learning to ride her bike (with training wheels of course). i think daddy is hoping she will be a little soccer star just like he was when he was younger.
she is beautiful....even at an early age, people would always compliment her pretty blue eyes. and they are still the first thing that others notice. so of course we are biased, but we really think she is so pretty and we just love looking at her sweet little face.
ella can be quite the goofball. i know she gets this from me...i was just like her growing up. she does silly things that make us laugh and she is just plain goofy sometimes. i love it!
so i know there is plenty more to say about her, but i'll save it for another post! as we raise this sweet child to grow up in the Lord, we pray that she will always know how much we love her, that she would know how much her God loves her, and that she would know how much she needs Jesus.
so on that note, since i've discussed one of her weaknesses, i want to describe her strengths and why we love this little girl named ella! so here goes the bragging...
she has recently nicknamed her little brother "big poncha" (hence the title above) and this shows how her little creative mind works. she likes to make up words. and when evan was a baby, ella always called him "oven", even though she could say his name correctly. everyone around us caught on and called him that too! she ADORES her little brother and for the most part, she plays well with him. just about every day she tells me how cute she thinks he is....especially when he does funny things or he's just being sweet to her. she is very affectionate with me, her daddy, evan, her friends and our family. she loves giving hugs and kisses. she has such a tender heart.
she is quite shy with those she doesn't know, but once she is your friend...she is attached! she is always wanting to be on the go (probably gets this from me!). every night at bedtime she asks me or her daddy, "where are we going tomorrow?". and every morning when she wakes up, "what are we going to do today?" and if i tell her that we have no plans, she is more than willing to make plans for me!!
she is quite the little artist and i have been so proud to see her latest drawings. she LOVES to color any chance she gets and she is enjoying writing her letters as well. she was the only one in her 3 yr. old preschool class who could write their name!
if she's not coloring, then she's probably reading books. the girl loves her books and we are thrilled about that! she loves to learn about new things and is soooo curious about everything. questions are pouring out of her mouth lately as she wants to know all there is to know about anything and everything!
she also loves to sing. she has all the songs memorized on the Steve Green's "Hide 'Em in Your Heart" cd's. i love hearing her sweet little voice. and she even knows words to some our favorite songs...(is it bad if she knows the lyrics to some of kelly clarkson's songs!?).
we think she will be a great athlete too....she loves to run and has always been very coordinated. she loves riding her scooter and is learning to ride her bike (with training wheels of course). i think daddy is hoping she will be a little soccer star just like he was when he was younger.
she is beautiful....even at an early age, people would always compliment her pretty blue eyes. and they are still the first thing that others notice. so of course we are biased, but we really think she is so pretty and we just love looking at her sweet little face.
ella can be quite the goofball. i know she gets this from me...i was just like her growing up. she does silly things that make us laugh and she is just plain goofy sometimes. i love it!
so i know there is plenty more to say about her, but i'll save it for another post! as we raise this sweet child to grow up in the Lord, we pray that she will always know how much we love her, that she would know how much her God loves her, and that she would know how much she needs Jesus.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
my scaredy cat
my daughter is 3 weeks shy of being a 4 year old. she has become quite a fearful little girl over the past 6 months or so. i will give you a few examples. she is now scared to walk down the hallway (during the day no less) and turn on the light in her room. if she sees that it is dark in the least, she gets this look on her face and i know exactly what she is thinking. for the past few months she has been refusing to go to her sunday school class because she says that she is scared. i haven't quite figured out the exact reasons other than the classroom being overcrowded with children and its overwhelming and she doesn't like to go when her friend abby is not there. so she has been sitting with us during "big" church which actually has turned out fine. but today was "move up" day where she got to go to a new classroom with the 4 & 5 yr olds. i've been talking it up all week. when i first told her, she started crying and talking about how she didn't want to go because she was scared. so today, i thought she was ready, but she wasn't. i had to stay in there with her and then when i told her i was ready to leave....meltdown. i took her to church and tried to take her back to her class....another meltdown. she is absolutely TER-RI-FIED of thunderstorms. but what 4 yr old isn't?? she is also FRIGHTENED of dogs....screams, shakes, crawls up our bodies to escape....she is that scared.
so i say all this because my patience is running thin. my compassion comes and goes and i just hope that this phase will quickly come to an end!! this morning at church i felt so intolerant to her fears. i find myself just thinking that she is ridiculous and i get so weary of saying the same things over and over to her to try and calm her down and let her know that everything is going to be ok. it's like everything i say goes in one ear and out the other.
so i'm sure this sounds awful. but i am a sinner afterall. and i know each day that i face helping her deal and work through the fears, i have to ask God to help give me patience and understanding of this young little mind of hers. i've been singing the steve green song "when i am afraid i will trust in you" at night when she goes to bed (another scary time for her). i pray with her and help her to understand that God created the dark and that trying new things (like new SS class) are ok.
as we conquer this scared phase with her....any insight from you experienced moms out there would be greatly appreciated. any ideas of how to help HER would be appreciated. and any thoughts on how to help ME be more tolerant and compassionate would be so helpful! thanks!
so i say all this because my patience is running thin. my compassion comes and goes and i just hope that this phase will quickly come to an end!! this morning at church i felt so intolerant to her fears. i find myself just thinking that she is ridiculous and i get so weary of saying the same things over and over to her to try and calm her down and let her know that everything is going to be ok. it's like everything i say goes in one ear and out the other.
so i'm sure this sounds awful. but i am a sinner afterall. and i know each day that i face helping her deal and work through the fears, i have to ask God to help give me patience and understanding of this young little mind of hers. i've been singing the steve green song "when i am afraid i will trust in you" at night when she goes to bed (another scary time for her). i pray with her and help her to understand that God created the dark and that trying new things (like new SS class) are ok.
as we conquer this scared phase with her....any insight from you experienced moms out there would be greatly appreciated. any ideas of how to help HER would be appreciated. and any thoughts on how to help ME be more tolerant and compassionate would be so helpful! thanks!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
my Gramma
yesterday was a special day for my kids and i. we traveled south with my mom and aunt to visit my dear grandmother. i want to attempt to describe my grandmother but i know it will be difficult to put into words (it's not my gift, anyway!).
gramma has always been the most positive influence in my life. her walk with the Lord is admirable and it is clear that He is her first love. she is almost 86 and is still very physically strong. she was one of 11 children and the last of her siblings that is still living. she has quite a history of wonderful stories growing up in such a large family. when i was younger, i loved any minute i had with her. i always thought she was so cool. she would always take us out to eat, she would let me drive her car in her neighborhood when i was about 13 and she was the only grandmother i ever knew who had birkenstocks....before they were popular! she has always been full of life and energy. she is definitely the most optimistic person i know and always chooses to see the good in people and finds good in any bad situation. she is also the most forgiving person i know. my grampa passed away when i was only 3 and so she has lived a single life since then. she has always given graciously to her family. there is hardly ever an occasion where she's not slipping you some money. she has served all of us in too many ways to count. she is the rock for our family. and she loves each of us unconditionally...all 4 children, 9 grandchildren, and 23 great grandchildren.
about 10 years ago, we discovered that gramma was suffering from major depression. it gradually got more severe and eventually she was hospitalized. she was a different person. pretty much the opposite of everything i described. she was not the gramma that i had always known. it was like some disease had taken hold of her brain and changed her personality completely. she was anxious all the time, she was so unhappy, she was shaky all over, she slept all the time, she never wanted to be around people. she struggled tremendously and so desperately wanted to escape the feelings she was experiencing. we hated seeing her battle this depression. over the last 10 years, it has come and gone several times. many medications, ECT treatments (electric shock treatments), and lots of prayers seemed to pull her out of it for a year or two and then it would get bad again.
for the past 6 months or so, she has been feeling well and we rejoice that God has chosen to heal her presently. we never know what tomorrow holds. i'm just thankful for the time we got with her yesterday. she brings me joy.
gramma has always been the most positive influence in my life. her walk with the Lord is admirable and it is clear that He is her first love. she is almost 86 and is still very physically strong. she was one of 11 children and the last of her siblings that is still living. she has quite a history of wonderful stories growing up in such a large family. when i was younger, i loved any minute i had with her. i always thought she was so cool. she would always take us out to eat, she would let me drive her car in her neighborhood when i was about 13 and she was the only grandmother i ever knew who had birkenstocks....before they were popular! she has always been full of life and energy. she is definitely the most optimistic person i know and always chooses to see the good in people and finds good in any bad situation. she is also the most forgiving person i know. my grampa passed away when i was only 3 and so she has lived a single life since then. she has always given graciously to her family. there is hardly ever an occasion where she's not slipping you some money. she has served all of us in too many ways to count. she is the rock for our family. and she loves each of us unconditionally...all 4 children, 9 grandchildren, and 23 great grandchildren.
about 10 years ago, we discovered that gramma was suffering from major depression. it gradually got more severe and eventually she was hospitalized. she was a different person. pretty much the opposite of everything i described. she was not the gramma that i had always known. it was like some disease had taken hold of her brain and changed her personality completely. she was anxious all the time, she was so unhappy, she was shaky all over, she slept all the time, she never wanted to be around people. she struggled tremendously and so desperately wanted to escape the feelings she was experiencing. we hated seeing her battle this depression. over the last 10 years, it has come and gone several times. many medications, ECT treatments (electric shock treatments), and lots of prayers seemed to pull her out of it for a year or two and then it would get bad again.
for the past 6 months or so, she has been feeling well and we rejoice that God has chosen to heal her presently. we never know what tomorrow holds. i'm just thankful for the time we got with her yesterday. she brings me joy.
me, my gramma & my mom
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